On the whole, most of us do speak our love languages though. But, to really feel loved, your desire would be to receive a gift.
Now, instead of you giving gifts to others, you will start doing things for them. For instance, if after years of marriage your spouse never gives you a birthday gift but makes sure your car is clean, you may have learned to accept a clean car in lieu of a gift. On the other hand, 25% of us speak one love language but wish to receive another love language. If we want gifts, then we will usually give gifts to others because what we really want is for gifts to be given to us and 75% of us will do just that. DO WE SPEAK OUR LOVE LANGUAGE?Īccording to Chapman 75% of us speak the language we most desire.
If a child feels unloved, it doesn’t mean the parents don’t love them, it may just mean the parents never learned how to communicate love in a language the child could understand, their love language. If you know that physical touch is their love language, then talking to them, placing them in time out, taking away a toy would be a better punishment. The way they feel loved and punishment are at odds and their spirit is crushed. Now imagine that this same child misbehaves and you spank them. This is the way they feel comforted and loved. For instance, if a child is always touching you, messing up your hair, wanting to be in your lap, his/her love language is probably physical touch. It’s important to know your child’s love language because it will be important to how their self-esteem and self-worth grows. Notice the things they appreciate the most, those are likely indicators of the primary love language. Watch your kids and you will be able to see which language they most often use. How they express their love to others is a clue to their love language. Initially, they will use all five languages, but over time one will emerge as their primary language. Yes, children have their own love language. Once we know their love language, we love them using their second language, the language of love. If we want the important people in our life to feel loved, we must discover their primary love language. WHY SHOULD WE LEARN OUR PARTNERS LOVE LANGUAGE?Īccording to Chapman, our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love, but to be genuinely loved by another to know that that love grows out of reason and a choice, not instinct. Both books include sections about kid’s love languages. The idea of discovering your own love language and that of others comes from Gary Chapman‘s books, The Five Love Languages (singles edition) and The Five Love Languages (for your mate). You receive verbal and non-verbal messages of love through one of the love languages. A love language is the verbal and non-verbal communication between people which improves the mental and physical well-being of both people. You can think of it as a second language, the language of love. Take the Love Language Profile Test! WHAT IS A LOVE LANGUAGE? How are you going to express your love to that someone special on Valentine’s Day? Better yet, how do you express your love to them on a daily basis? Did you know each of us has a dominant love language that dictates how we feel loved? It’s not too early to find out your own love language and that of others, including your kids, so every day will be a love-filled day for all of you. Valentine’s Day is coming! Learn to speak the language of love with the Love Language Profile Test!